Over three weeks of the semester have passed. In this time, I’ve made friends and learned some fascinating things, but most of all I’ve been drained. A roller coaster of emotions and stress has drained my energy. Maybe you noticed that I haven’t been posting as often. This is the reason why.
This place of feeling tired isn’t new, and I find that my reaction each time it visits is to carefully control my activities and to dread the coming day or week. To an extent, I think stuarding the energy we’ve been given, along with every gift, is wise, yet always holding back and dreading is no way to live. (Especially in God’s upside-down kingdom.)
A couple summers ago I worked at a summer camp for two months and was beyond exhausted all the time. God came through for me in a way I had never experienced, though. Looking back, I know His strength is the only reason I made it. Each day I made it through and the days added up to two months.
By the Lord’s prayer, Jesus taught us to ask for daily bread. In other words, the sustanence for today. Another beautiful truth we are reminded of is that His mercies are new every morning. God doesn’t give us the mercies we’ll need for the whole week at the beginning. Each morning we can look forward with eager anticipation to seeing how God will provide.
I’m learning a lot through this trial, especially about relying on Jesus each day, but that does not negate the dilemma of having less energy. Therefore, for this semester, I will post when I can but that probably won’t be every week.
Hope this post finds you well,
There are whole books in the Old Testament that I have never read. (Yes, I feel bad about this.) Recently, my devotional led me to read in Lamentations 3- one of those books that I’ve never laid eyes upon.
I read the prophet Jeremiah speak of God: “He has walled me about so that I cannot escape; he has made my chains heavy; though I call and cry for help, he said or my prayer; he has blocked my ways with blocks of stones; he has made my paths crooked.” (Lam. 3:7-9) And he went on to describe many other terrible afflictions.
It’s weird, but this encouraged me. I feel like I experienced something very similar when I got sick: I went to the pit of despair and my plans were ruined. But I found out during that time just what Jeremiah did: “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him.'” (Lam. 3:22-24)
(Maybe I have read that specific verse from Lamentations about God’s mercies being new every morning… Who knew?)
I went into that hard season of sickness thinking God owed me something for my service to Him. As Christians, though, there’s one thing we are promised in this life and that’s hardship. Jesus came to heal and give eternal life – absolutely- but we must remember that He is our prize, not a perfect, enjoyable life.
I don’t know about you, but I like this version of Christianity better. There are less life experiences to reason out in my heart and I can trust God no matter what happens. Not to say that I have this pat down. It’s just something I’m learning.
“His mercies never come to an end.”