Guess you could say the start of it was watching a series on 1 Peter by John Piper. The climax came on a night filled not with sleep, but with shooting pain and anxiety.
The work of making a man new belongs only to the Holy Spirit and He finds the most perfect ways of doing so.
A passage of the Word is a mish-mash of words until He shows up, even when it is being taught well.
Lyme Disease brings with it waves of symptoms. For the first time, a big one was hitting and my hope was that tomorrow would be better. Tomorrow came, over and over. There was no better, but in fact, worse.
Hope began to fade as depression took over.
To make matters worse, a night of poor sleep came. The next night came and sleep evaded me effectively as I tried to deal with new pain and anguish.
Finally, enough was enough. Who cares about sleep. It was time to talk to the Shepherd. To be more correct though, it would be called listening.
They weren’t so much like questions coming from Him, but:
What if this life is so short that no pleasure is okay?
What if the sole hope is best placed in Jesus and eternity, rather then in feeling better?
What if this world is not my home?
Do you know, the coming sleep deprived day, and the days following were overflowing with joy. The wave of Lyme symptoms morphed from my greatest nuisance into my valuable treasure.
A correctly placed hope has a way of infusing any and every situation with strong joy, this I have experienced.
So to quote some of the beautiful, precious words that unknown to me at the time began the journey to this ah-ha moment:
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”
– 1 Peter 1:3-9