Life is full of good things this summer. In many ways it is what I dreamed the summer would be. And yet, with each dreamed of activity on the horizon, I find a struggle waging within. There’s a little voice in the back of my head saying, “You’re getting too excited. Remember all the other times it didn’t work out? That’s going to happen once more and you’re going to be left devastated. Again.” So what if I am let down again? What if the thing I hope for doesn’t happen in my timing, or at all? This can be a big thing or a little thing and I think we all deal with this tension to some degree or another at least once in our lives.
I am reading Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot right now. (Such an amazing book! If you want to dig deeper into this tension of not getting what you want when you want it or just have questions about what it looks like to have a God-honoring relationship, read this book!) Despite it being specifically about a love relationship, I think this philosophical concept still applies to desiring something good in the future:
“We may imagine what it would be like to share a given event and feel loss at having to experience it alone. But let us not forget– that loss is imagined, not real… What is, is actual– what might be simply is not, and I must not therefore query God as though He robbed me– of things that are not. ” (Words of Jim Elliot written to Elisabeth during their long before-engaged season)
In that light, becoming bitter toward God for not giving a supposedly-good gift is ludicrous. On the one hand, was it really a good gift for us if God didn’t see fit to provide it for us? On the other hand, would we forfeit a right relationship with God because He wouldn’t be Santa Clause for us?
So can we eagerly anticipate a desired event or outcome, while still being fulfilled and happy in Christ? Can we have a desire in the back of our heart and wait for the right time to come for it to bloom? What if _______ doesn’t happen when we think it should? Can we be patient? Can we trust God to be good the the tension of the waiting?
I love this quote on waiting! It is,
“Steadfastness, that is holding on;
Patience that is holding back;
Expectancy, that is holding the face up;
Obedience, that is holding one’s self in readiness to go or do;
Listening, that is holding quiet and still as to hear.” (S.D. Gordon)
When we allow God to work in the waiting, we are drawn closer to Him in love; we are brought to a place of trusting Him more.
So wait bravely, friend.